Something Meaningful
by BlueChouLyla
Summary: Sesshoumaru finds he has more in common with Kagome than he originally thought. A short, three part One Shot inspired by different songs...
1. Renai Spirits

this is a Song Fic, based on the song 'Renai Spiritsu' by Chatmonchy. the song is in Japanese, english translation can be found in the bottom.

this is a really amazing song. it practically begged me to write a story with it.

if you don't know it, look it up!

I do not own Inuyasha or 'Renai Spiritsu'.

* * *

Kagome re-read the song she had just finished writing under the light of her flashlight, humming it's tune quietly to herself. It was her turn to stand guard tonight, and she had another hour or so before she would wake Sango to replace her. It was more often then not now that Sango, Miroku and herself would stay awake to make sure no demon attacked them in their sleep. Usually, they would count on Inuyasha to wake them if needed.

However, Inuyasha was not there anymore – at least not at night. She knew where he was – he was with Kikyou, kissing her and loving her like Kagome wished he would love her.

She hoped, maybe, that if she gathered enough courage to sing her song to him, he'd remember that she's there, alive and capable of returning his love. Already loving him, though he seemed to ignore it.

_Ima made hitotsu demo  
Nakuse nai mono te atta ka na  
Ima made hitotsu demo  
Te ni ireta mono te atta ka na  
Douka muimi na mono ni nara nai de ne  
Ima sugu imi no aru mono ni natte ne  
_

As she sang, quietly and clearly, she thought of how even though he had his Kikyou, had ignored Kagome's love, he would not let her go, would not let her stop loving him. He was stringing her along, making her think she had any hope. He would kill any male who looked at her twice, if she would let him. She had to fight him every time she wanted to go home, for crying out loud!

The truth was, he had his Kikyou, but still acted as if Kagome, also, was his. She would never be allowed to leave him. Unfortunately, if _he_ wanted to leave, he expected her to sit and wait for him. She did, most of the time.

_Ano hito ga soba ni inai  
Anata no soba ni ima inai  
Dakara anata wa watashi wo tebanase nai_

She knew all of that, and still she could not stop loving him.

She never noticed that she was not singing to herself anymore.

**

Sesshoumaru paused in his travels at the sound of someone singing. Curiosity flaring at the sound of pain and hurt being carried in the – quite talented – singer's voice, he moved closer to the source of the sound.

_Ima made hitori dewa  
Sagase nai mono te atta ka na  
Ima made hitori dewa  
Tsukure nai mono te atta ka na  
Douka muimi na mono ni nara nai de ne  
Ima sugu imi no aru mono ni natte ne_

In a minute he was sitting in a tree above his brother's camp, looking at the Miko, who sang softly to herself while looking at a strange paper, with an even stranger device providing her with light.

His brother was no where to be found, and from his scent he could tell that he hasn't been there for a while.

_Ano hito wo kabuse nai de  
Ano hito wo kise nai de  
Ano hito wo minai de watashi wo mite ne_

He was surprised at the words of the song to say the least. She knew the Halfbreed had gone out every night to rut with the undead one, and still she loved him, still she remained loyal to him. He had always thought her ignorant of the fact that the hanyou had chosen another. She _knew_. Knew, and still remained with him.

_'but why?'_

_Ano hito ga soba ni kitara  
Anata no soba ni moshi kitara  
Watashi wo sutete ano hito tsukamaeru no?_

Sesshoumaru nearly shook his head at himself. That was a foolish question. She had to have known Inuyasha would choose the other every time. It had happened before, when the undead priestess had been revived. He had seen it. He had been following them whenever he could, ever since the Miko – the live one, Kagome – had failed to die from his poison. She had become a curiosity, then. After saving her from the poison maker, he realized that she was more than a curiosity for him. That was why he could not resist her when she begged him to revive that otter who had been beheaded by Naraku.

_Ano hito wo kabuse nai de  
Ano hito wo kise nai de  
Ano hito wo minai de watashi wo mite ne  
_

Yet, the more she kept singing, the less he understood her.

_Ano hito ga soba ni inai  
Anata no soba ni ima inai  
_

How could she still love him, knowing he didn't love her in return?

_Dakara anata wa watashi wo tebanase nai  
_

She knew he only kept her by his side because he could not have the other.

_Dakara watashi wa anata wo omotte iru_

He watched as she stopped singing, looking at some odd bracelet, then rising and waking up the other woman, the exterminator. He still puzzled over her as she lay down near the fox kit, her song ringing in his mind as he turned back to his own camp. He could still hear it as he kicked Jaken for falling asleep while he was supposed to watch over Rin.

_'Maybe,'_ he thought to himself as he sat down with his back to a tree, closing his eyes and preparing for some rest.

_'Maybe it doesn't have to make sense.'_

After all, he himself had cared for the girl, maybe even loved her, even though he knew she loved another.

* * *

English translation

(things in brackets are my guesses for a more literal translation based on what I know of Japanese)

Has there ever been a single thing up till now  
That I couldn't bear to lose?  
Has there ever been a single thing up till now  
That I could get?  
Please don't let it be meaningless  
Please become something meaningful soon

She's not with you (she's not by your side)  
She's not with you now (she's not by your side now)  
So you can't let go of me

Has there ever been anything up till now  
That I couldn't search for?  
Has there ever been anything up till now  
That I couldn't make?  
Please don't let it be meaningless  
Please become something meaningful soon

Don't cover her (don't cover me up with her image)  
Don't dress her up (don't dress me up with her image)  
Don't look at her; look at me

If she comes to you (if she comes to your side)  
And if I come to you (and if I also come to your side)  
Would you abandon me and grab her?

Don't cover her  
Don't dress her up  
Don't look at her; look at me

She's not with you  
She's not with you now  
So you can't let go of me  
So you can't let go of me  
So you can't let go of me  
That's why I love you  
That's why I love you

and credits where they're due: the original site where I took the lyrics from some 100 years ago is not working anymore, but this works just as well:

Lyrics From:

www. jpopasia. com/ lyrics/ 8097/ chatmonchy/ renai-spirits .html

* * *

hope you liked!

I'm thinking of writing a continuation for it, though I'm not sure it.

tell me what you thought!

Lyla


	2. The Devil and Me

**The Devil and Me**

This part of Something Meaningful was inspired by the song "The Devil and Me" by Asaf Avidan. He's an awesome israeli singer who sings in english, and again, if you never heard of him and his band (Asaf Avidan and the Mojos), you should look it up. (/end shameless plug)

I don't own inuyasha, or Asaf Avidan's the devil and me.

__

Kagome looked around the camp. Oh, was she in for it this time. Inuyasha would kill her when he came back from… well, wherever he was. She knew who he was with, that wasn't hard. It's the where that bugged her. What if something happened? What if some big, bad demon attacked her and he wasn't there? Sure, she'd been in the Feudal Era for ages, but she was no more than 'passable' in protecting herself. She didn't need to be – Inuyasha was always there for her. Well, not anymore. And, to top it all, a big bad demon _had_ come for her while he wasn't there. Of course, he hadn't attacked her, otherwise she wouldn't have been back at camp. No, not 'of course'. It was definitely not 'of course'. She was in Sengoku Jidai, for crying out loud! She was sure he _would_ attack her, and the fact that he didn't was… shocking, and that was an understatement. And the fact that it was _Sesshoumaru_, of all people!

Err, demons.

But he didn't attack her. Oh, no. instead, he did something way weirder. He _talked_ to her.

And on embarrassing subjects, as well. She knew now, next time she would be more careful. She wanted _Inuyasha_ to hear her song. Anyone else… well, embarrassing sums it up nicely. Oh, god. He heard her singing. And it was a very personal song, as well! And then he just came nonchalantly and _talked_ to her about it.

He even complimented her.

That definitely bugged her eyes out. She never thought she'd see the day when Sesshoumaru _complimented _her.

He said her voice was strong, that her singing was true. He said her song was good, the words chosen wisely. And then… _then_ he started getting really personal. What did he care if she stayed with Inuyasha even though she knew he didn't love her at all? What was it to him?

She really thought he was just out for some dirt on his brother.

So, of course, she told him to go to hell. Well, in nicer words, but she did make it clear (she hoped) that he was not getting any information out of her. She was a locked vault, a dry well, a mute.

Oh, even in her own (currently rambling) mind she was a bad liar. So what? So she told him practically everything. It's not like he didn't gather it all from the song, anyway. It was a really revealing song.

Which brought her back to her earlier thoughts.

He _listened _on her while she was singing! That's practically eavesdropping! No, not practically. That _was_ eavesdropping!

Kagome groaned.

This whole encounter had been way too bizarre. And Sesshoumaru _talking_ to her wasn't even the weirdest part. She sat down next to Sango, who was cleaning her hiraikotsu.

"Kagome-chan, is everything all right? You've been standing here for five minutes, just staring into space!"

Well, that was a tough question. Everything was definitely _not_ all right, not even a little bit of right, but… how will she tell her best friend that? They were practically alone – Miroku and Shippo both asleep already, Sango staying up to stand guard.

"Um, this is a long story…"

"Well, I'm not going anywhere. What happened?"

"I don't even know where to start!"

"Kagome-chan, just say what happened. Did a demon attack you? Are you harmed or injured?"

"What? No! I'm just… confused."

"Ok. I'm here when you're ready."

Kagome smiled at her friend. Really, Sango was the best. They both sat in silence for a while, before Kagome opened her mouth to try to explain again, but nothing would come. She was always so much better at explaining herself through songs. Well, why not, really?

_Oh, the devil and me_

_We're playing games we shouldn't be_

_K-i-s-s-i-n-g_

_Way up and around my tree_

Sango was startled when Kagome started singing to herself quietly, not even looking at her. She had a feeling the girl was trying to tell her something, but the meaning was completely lost on her.

"Err, Kagome-chan? I… I don't understand."

Kagome was still not looking at her.

"There's a song little kids sing to make fun of one another. It goes something like this: 'Sango and Miroku, sitting on a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Miroku with a baby carriage'."

Sango blushed. "Kagome-chan! What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing," Kagome replied. "I just needed an example."

"Oh." And then she got it. "Kagome-chan, you kissed a guy?!"

Now it was Kagome's turn to impersonate a tomato, and she mumbled something.

"What? Kagome-chan, I can't hear you when you mumble."

"Err, I said that he kissed me. I didn't even have time to kiss him back – he disappeared before I got over the shock!"

"Well, did you want to kiss him back?"

And that was the crux of it. Did she? It's not everyday that a gorgeous looking killing-machine comes and tells her to let go of her unrequited love, and proceeds on to kissing her. Not even in her wildest dreams could she imagine Sesshoumaru having an interest in _her_, of all things. He hated humans!

"I don't know," she answered, definitely not looking at Sango. She was supposed to love Inuyasha, after all!

"Well, who is it? Do I know him? Is he human? Tell me about him!"

"Sango, I promise I'll tell you everything… but you have to promise to wait until I finish before you make _any _comment."

"I promise, just tell me already!" Sango was grinning widely. She couldn't help it. She just wanted Kagome to be happy, after all!

"Do you remember I told you I was writing a song for Inuyasha?" she asked, deciding to start from the beginning instead of throwing random bits of the story into the conversation and hoping Sango would get it. Sango nodded.

"Well, the other night I was singing it to myself, so see how it turned out. He… he heard me. And tonight, on my way to my bath, he came to me and started asking me about it." She blushed at the memory. "It was so weird! I was sure he came to kill me or something!"

"Wait, so he's a demon?" Sango blurted out, unable to stop herself.

"Yes," Kagome answered, not sure how to continue.

"Is that why you called him 'the devil' in you song, Kagome-chan?"

"You could say that…"

"Wait, you knew him before, right?"

"Yes, I did. Well, I've met him a few times, but now… I'm not sure if I ever knew him – his personality, and stuff like that. I'm not sure anybody knows the real him."

Sango suddenly turned serious. "Wait, Kagome, it's not Naraku, right?"

"Ewww! Hell no, Sango!" Kagome exclaimed, swatting Sango lightly on the arm, and the two girls shared a laugh. "What made you even think of him?!"

"Well… the way you talked, it sounds like the relationship between the two of you up till now had been one of enmity, or something like that." Sango sneaked a glance at Kagome. The girl was certainly not looking at her. "And the only one I could think of was Naraku. And, well, Sesshoumaru, but…" another glance at the younger girl made Sango gasp.

"Kagome-chan! It was Sesshoumaru?"

Kagome nodded slightly.

"But… I thought he hated humans!"

"So did I."

"Then why—?"

"I don't know, Sango-chan."

They were silent for a while.

"What are you going to do about it, Kagome-chan?"

"I don't know, Sango-chan. Just… don't tell anyone about it quite yet, ok? Inuyasha will throw a fit, and I really don't know how to explain this to Miroku."

"Your secret's safe with me, Kagome-chan. You know that."

Sango looked at her friend. She looked… lost. Confused.

"Kagome-chan, why don't you go get some sleep. It was a long day. I'll tell Miroku not to wake you up tonight."

"Sango-chan, I don't think I could sleep even if I wanted to. But if you want to sleep, I can take over guard duty."

"No, it's ok. Are you sure you don't want to try and get some rest?"

Kagome nodded, laying her head on Sango's shoulder.

"Why can't life be simple, Sango-chan?"

"I don't know, Kagome-chan. I don't know."

__

Tell me what you think!

Lyla


	3. Of Scorpions and Bells

**Of Scorpions and Bells**

Based on (once again) a song by Asaf Avidan and the Mojos. What can I do? it fits.

I don't own inuyasha, you should know that by now

* * *

Kagome sighed to herself for the tenth time. This letter was proving harder that she thought, and she never expected it to be easy. But she couldn't help it; Inuyasha was suffocating her. She had to leave, as much as she hated to leave Sango, Miroku and Shippou behind.

Oh, it was not like she would never see them again – she was not leaving the feudal era. They will see each other, just not on the daily basis she was used to.

She just couldn't bear it anymore. She couldn't stand lying to her friends. She knew Sango was mad at her for not telling her, for forcing her to lie as well. But how could she tell them she was off to see Sesshoumaru, the supposedly cool, cruel, human hating Taiyoukai?

Of course, she knew it was all a façade. If it was not, he would not have come for her in the first place, wouldn't have kissed her, wouldn't have came to meet her almost every day only because she had _asked_ him for time to get to know him. If it was not, he wouldn't have asked her to become his mate. If it was not, she wouldn't have agreed.

Not even Sango had known about this particular development in their relationship.

It had taken some convincing on his part to make even her believe it was not a façade, and she was probably the most trusting creature in the feudal era. But, after all, it was not easy to go form the Sesshoumaru of "How fitting that you should be dallying with humans" to the Sesshoumaru who admitted he found her interesting and attractive, who could be found kissing her whenever she let him, and hugging her, and openly declaring his love for her, even if at first it was hard for him to find the words.

And the best part – he really didn't care if anyone saw them. He'd say it in front of Inuyasha if she let him.

But she wanted to be the one to tell the hanyou that. That she was in love with his brother, planned on mating him. She wanted to tell him that, to his face. But it was so hard, and she could not bring herself to say it. She didn't want to hurt Inuyasha, but two weeks had passed, and she just knew that if she didn't tell him soon, she never would. That was why she was awake in the middle of the night, writing that stupid letter. She had so many pieces of paper – failed tries – strewn all around her.

It was hard even for her, to think of all the changes she had gone through these four months. After al, who would have thought that she'd fall in love with Inuyasha's ruthless brother, out of all the people in the world? Definitely not her. She used to be so afraid of the Taiyoukai – not that she'd ever let him see it. He could be quite the charmer, really, when he wanted to. And he loved her for who she was, not who she had been.

Kagome sighed again, throwing the paper she had written on back inside her backpack.

Thinking of Sesshoumaru, of the past four months, she started writing again, this time in song form. It was so much easier for her that way. She just wrote what she felt, 'from the heart', as her mother would put it. Wasting time and paper on apologies and explanations was useless, she decided. If Inuyasha wanted to know more, he'd seek her out.

After that, things came out much easier.

_I know that my grip was a little too tight__,_

_But where I was coming you were the only thing right._

_I guess I'm sorry for that._

_But if you think these bonds of love you have forged,_

_Can keep me here locked up and waiting and yours._

_Baby you're wrong,_

_Cause baby I'm leaving._

_Now decide what you need, a guide or a thief,_

_Someone to hold you, or sharpen your teeth,_

_I ain't staying to find out._

'_Cause I think you're blind, and I think you're deaf,_

_Touch is the only sense you've got left._

_Baby good luck with that._

_Cause baby I'm leaving._

_I'm really sorry for the letter, Inuyasha._

When she finished, she put the letter next to Shippou, and woke up Sango. Besides the fact that she wanted to say goodbye, it was also the girl's turn in their watch duty. One last hug to Sango, and she hoisted up her yellow bag. Casting another glance at the camp, waving goodbye back to the girl who had become her sister, she turned around and left, not looking back anymore.

Sesshoumaru was waiting for her.

* * *

now, I don't want to sit here and beg for reviews... but really, just tell me what you think. feedback is necessary! :P

thank you all for reading.

Lyla


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